


An Honour in Itself

by wistfulpisces



Series: 221 Word Drabbles [7]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Inspired by Poetry, M/M, POV John Watson, Pining, Pining John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 21:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14089593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistfulpisces/pseuds/wistfulpisces
Summary: John knows he could never leave Sherlock, even if loving him can sometimes feel like walking around with a punctured lung.





	An Honour in Itself

I never used to know what it meant to have a broken heart. Even after I’d inflicted and sustained my share of emotional casualties, I didn’t know why that pain was termed “heartbreak”. After all, one can’t live without a functional heart, and the slightest arrhythmia causes serious, irreparable damage.

I never truly understood the expression, I think, until I fell for you.

Sometimes loving you is like having a punctured lung. The adrenaline of adventure and my affectionate awe of you aids my persistence. No matter the danger – the heady scent of gunpowder; splashing, hurried footsteps echoing in the dead of night – I push through the pain and the prickle of fear at the nape of my neck. It’s the right thing, the good thing.

But after we apprehend the criminal and rattle off the details in statements, in the silence of 221B, the hurt is acute. My breath feels ragged, deoxygenated – worsened by the sidelong smile you offer me in the cab. They’re just for us, these short moments of triumph, bookended by victory and exhaustion.

I wish I could stop it, let it fade, plug the bleeding and let the wound heal on its own – but I could never bring myself to leave you. Being your friend is an honour in itself.

I should be content with that.


End file.
